Blog Archive

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Merry New Year!



What does everyone have planned to usher in the new year this evening? We're having a little party here at our house, as we have done every NYE for about 6 years now. It's just nicer than braving the cold and the crowds in town, and we always have a great time with our friends and their children in the comfort of our home. Also, no driving - yay!

This year we've got three other families coming over and we're doing a Pajama Party theme. Basically, the girls and I just decided that we didn't want to dress up and we didn't want to wear anything that does not have an elastic waistband, so pj's were the logical choice! I've selected some oh-so-sexy duds that have frogs and peace signs on them, and I can't wait to rock them with my new red hair.

Oh, did I forget to mention that I'm now a pseudo-redhead? Last Monday I decided to go even more "rock star" with the 'do and I got some flame-red (burgundy, really) highlights. I love it, and everyone noticed for a change; usually my highlights are more subtle, but this time everyone from the mailman at work to Mala's unobservant husband Joe noticed. I'm digging it. I wanted something funky to start 2010 and this fits the bill.

In other news, yesterday Mala, her daughter (who is also sporting some killer pink highlights, btw) and I had a nice lunch at The Ichiban Japanese hibachi, one of Mala's favorite restaurants, which she lovingly refers to as the "Itchy Bum." We were feeling very multi-cultural apparently, because after that we went and got our nails done one of Concord's many Vietnamese-run salons and got called "Baby" while the teeny little women talked about us in their language and filed all of the nails on my left hand crooked.



Mala's doctor is running some tests on her to try to figure out why she's so awesome so they can bottle it, so she was sporting the ever-popular fanny pack o' wires. Basically, she looked like a terrorist. After we were seated at the hand dryer waiting for our bright blue (hers) and deep purple (mine) nails to dry, we were treated to a disgusting display of Wild Kingdom in the algae-clogged cesspool they called a fish tank. It was kind of heartbreaking, really. There were these two horribly neglected fish that kept staring at us with these pleading googly eyes as if to say, "Please, contact the ASPCA! We're pretty sure we're covered by them, right? Help usssss...."



One of the fish was clearly dying, and the other was going all Finding Nemo on us by nudging his friend and hovering by his side. It was very depressing, even though we'd just eaten at a sushi restaurant so we're obviously not huge fish-rights people.

Anywhooooo. I hope you all have a lovely evening and don't have to witness any dying fish! Tomorrow I'll post some pics of our night of debauchery. I dug out some old pics of Mala and me ringing in the year 2000, so we'll have fun comparing then versus now. I'm sure we can all agree that not much has changed in the past 10 years except for a few minor developments like getting married, having children, buying homes, etc. You know, little stuff. ;)

HAPPY NEW YEAR'S EVE, ALL!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Horny Mustangs & Musical Tuesday

On Saturday I found myself in the redneck purgatory known as Walmart, perusing the toy section with my kids. It didn't matter that D had received umpteen-million carefully-selected and pricey new toys for Christmas because he had also received a crisp $5 bill, which was burning a hole in his little pocket. He sat in the front of the cart waving the bill in the air like a flag on an explorer's canoe, as if we were navigating a vast, uncharted wilderness.

It is exceedingly difficult to find a toy that is exactly $5.00 in Walmart. While D searched among the disorganized post-holiday shelves and mumbled something about Darth Vader's light saber I wandered further down the aisle to the clearance section, and that's where I saw this:



I snorted and fumbled for my cell phone. Oh, he's wild, alright. How I longed to turn that mare around in the box and make this officially "found porn," but instead I just took a photo for you, my lovely readers. You see, I am always thinking of you.

When I had finished documenting the unintentional hilarity of the Wild Mustang almost-gang-bang I escorted my children to the check-out so that D could purchase his Han Solo action figure with bonus Storm Trooper disguise, and yes, I had to lend him two bucks to make that happen. Fuckin' expensive toys.

So it's Tuesday and my in-laws are at my house right now, drinking coffee in their PJs. Happily, I am not; I'm working today in my quiet office while my boss is on vacation in Florida and my crazy coworker is holed up at her house because it's -10 degrees out and she is old. Life is good on days like these, although I've been feeling so groggy lately and I just don't know why. It's like I'm underwater for half the day. I'm having trouble finding the funny, I'm not picking up on good movie/music quotes that I know like the back of my hand, and I'm feeling pudgy and fugly after all the holiday binging.

In short, I don't know what I need, but I need something!

I have been listening to lots of good tunes lately, though. I cannot get enough of these three songs:

Not Big by Lily Allen

I just love how Lily's voice sounds so sweet and girlish (not to mention her killer accent!) but she's SO f'ing harsh! Just do me a favor -- listen to this (NSFW) song and try to tell me that it doesn't ROCK. Note: I won't believe you.



Lisztomania by Phoenix:

Funky.



You and I by Wilco (hi Shannon!) with Feist.

Sweet.



So there you have it. Go forth and download. Tell 'em Bev sent ya'.

Have a good day!

Monday, December 28, 2009

You'll shoot your eye out, kid!



Why hello all of you Who's down in Whoville! How the hell are ya?

How was your holiday? Did everyone get spoiled by the big fat man in the big red suit (or equivalent)? I sure hope so! My Christmas was very nice. I got some lovely and thoughtful gifts and really enjoyed watching my children paw through their new loot. We finally relented and gave D a Nerf gun, and he was jazzed beyond belief when he cracked it open at 6 AM on Christmas morning. The darn thing is like an automatic weapon; you load 35 darts into the chamber (which, incidentally, don't hurt at all when you get pelted with them... ask me how I know) and let 'em rip! I have a feeling we're going to be finding those little buggers everywhere from now on. He's already lost at least 10 of them somewhere in the post-present mess that is my home.

I left my husband at home today with strict instructions to tidy the pig sty in preparation for his parents' arrival this evening. They are staying for most of the week and if I don't make sure things are clean I find his mother passive-aggressively helpfully cleaning out my oven or scrubbing the shelves of the fridge. Trust me, there's nothing like finding your mother-in-law folding a laundry basket full of your ugliest, most tattered period underwear to motivate you to get the chores done before they show up!

On Saturday night we went to an "Ugly Sweater Party" at Laurie & Mark's house. I'm pleased to report that we don't own any ugly sweaters despite my Aunt Carol's best efforts in that area, so I went to Walmart and found a perfectly hideous top for myself. I thought I'd win for sure, but then Laurie's friend Karyn showed up decked out in a snowman sweater with matching earrings, necklace, and socks. She blew me out of the water, and that was one contest I honestly didn't mind losing.

On a side note, last week on Facebook I posted something about having over-tweezed one of my eyebrows. So I'm standing in the kitchen chatting away when our friend Ric blurts out, "I can't stop staring at your eyebrows!" Crap! Lesson learned.

I decided to let the boys look like their usual adorable selves with the exception of D's hair. After his bath I had formed it into a spiky faux-hawk and he LOVED it, so out came the hair products to make it official. He was completely psyched to sport the 'do all night, but Jim wasn't as psyched. He is totally anti-hair gel, which is why my husband is a grown man who rocks a bushy bowl cut no matter how well it is cut. Whatev. I pick my battles.

Our friend Mark designed his own sweater. Looks nice, right?



Look closer:



HAHAHA! Is it any wonder that we are friends?

Towards the end of the evening we cracked open their new Beatles Rock Band game and rocked it out for a while. So much fun! A little birdy told me that we're getting that game for Christmas this week as well, and I can't wait. New Year's Eve jam session, here we come!

This is BY FAR my favorite photo from the whole holiday season:



CRAZY EYES! WOOT!

On Sunday D and I joined the Mala clan for lunch and a movie. We saw the Alvin & The Chipmunks Squeequel and it was... a movie. Mala was cracking up because I made it an hour and forty minutes into the film before leaning over to her and saying, "Well, now that's just improbable!" Yes, folks, I managed to suspend my disbelief during a movie about singing, talking chipmunks right up until they pelted a 6 foot tall man with their tiny little motorcycle helmets and made him fall down. That, well, that I didn't buy. No sir.

ANYWHO. It's another short work week for me. In fact, I'm only working for a few hours today and all day tomorrow, then I'm off for the rest of the week. YAY, me! I have a couple of special posts worked out for your entertainment this week, so stay tuned for those!

I'm going to be eating lettuce and drinking H20 all week in an attempt to lose the 4 lbs of fudge I've packed onto the ol' derriere recently. *sigh*

Enjoy your days, luvs!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

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