Monday, Monday

Hey all! Hope you all had a nice, relaxing Thanksgiving holiday. I will be making an effort to get around to read all of your blogs today if I can, so please don't think I'm ignoring you. I admit that I took a giant step back from the computer over my five days off, and oddly enough -- I liked it. Not that I'll be making a habit of it, so never fear.

Let's see. Quick recap: Thanksgiving was nice, and quiet. I made a shit-ton of food, going through about a pound of butter in the process. My family agreed that I outdid myself; everything came out perfectly, even the gravy, which tends to be my nemesis at holiday meals. Other than eat, we mostly spent the day playing Rock Band 2 and drinking. It rocked. At the end of the day Danny proclaimed it the BEST DAY EVER, but that might've just been the beer talkin'. Ha ha - I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Don't call the cops on us.

On Saturday morning I was lying in bed trying to muster the energy to get up when I heard a loud BOOM and the power went out. Apparently the 50 mph winds had taken their toll, and as usual our town was the first to lose power and one of the last to get it back. FMFL. I admit it: I sulked and pouted all day. Last winter we had an ice storm and we lost power for a full 5 brutal winter days. For the first time in my 30-odd years on the planet, I threatened to move South. Jim the mountain man got worried and promised he'd buy a generator for times like these... then promptly didn't. So Saturday as the hours ticked by and the house grew colder and darker, I started to seethe. Eventually he found me back in bed with the covers pulled over my head and he knew that it was time to bite the bullet. Two hours later he came home with the biggest generator Lowes had and a promise to get an electrician out this week to get it hard-wired. Fuck this shit. Leave the candles and shivering for the other chumps. I'm OVER it.

Saturday night we wriggled under the dangling power line on our street fled to Mala's house, where two teeny tiny teenagers took charge of our children (and by that I mean, let the kids run wild while they watched TV) so we could go out. I was so ready to get out by then, lemme tell you. M has gone from angel child to devil spawn over the past week or so; the Terrible Twos have struck with a vengeance. He's been sleeping poorly, refusing to nap, throwing tantrums, and tossing just about every morsel of food you give him onto the floor while saying, "I make mess!" So yeah, some adult conversation in a non-chain restaurant with actual linens on the table was just what the doctor ordered!



The food & wine were delish, and the company was fantastic as always. After dinner we went to the world's cheesiest bar and did some karaoke. Mala and I got our angry girl-power on not once but twice, but the second time we really stunk up the joint. Thankfully, none of the portly bleached blondes in trucker caps and Nascar sweatshirts seemed to notice, so we cool. By the end of the evening Mala and I were cutting up the dance floor... right up until the point when Mala fell over backwards like a mighty Redwood. One minute we're dancing like the naughty tarts that we are, the next she's lying on her back like a turtle with a confused look on her face.

Being the good friend that I am, I went over to help her up and the goofball tried to pull me down too! WTF? I'm a pretty sturdy chick so I managed to convince her that lying on the sticky carpet of a karaoke bar was not advisable and get her back up on her feet, but really that was the beginning of the end. As the following pictures show, I was in full-on "Crazy Eyes" mode, and Jim had just sung some Ozzy so he was feelin' it as well. I texted this picture to my BIL who is a Psychiatry resident in Philly and he wrote back and said he loved us, but we're crazy. I asked if that was his professional opinion & he had no further comment.



Believe it or not, these are Joe's crazy eyes. He's a wild one, that guy.



That night we went back to their place and they put us up in their comfy guest room because why rush home when we STILL HAD NO POWER? Best part? The next morning Mala made us pancakes & bacon, and when we got home we found electricity and order restored once more. I love a happy ending.

So now I'm back at my crap job and hating every second of it, and this week will be a doozy. I'm overtired (my own fault - staying up too late, getting up too early) and over-stretched this week. HOWEVER....

The awesome: tomorrow night my amazingly tenacious friend Laurie scored us tickets to see LADY GAGA in Boston at the Waaaaaaaang (yeah, I said Wang)!!!!!!! Even cooler? The tix are going for ridiculous sums of money - $200+, but Laurie somehow found us a pair for $75 each. I have no idea how she did it but she is just one of these folks who always gets what she sets her mind to getting! I am really hoping some of that quality rubs off on wishy-washy old Bev. ;)

Oh, and she just sent me a picture of a crazy outfit she's getting for me to wear tomorrow night. How cool is that?!

The not-so-awesome: I need to have a little medical thingy (don't ask) on Thursday that involves a very long needle... in my neck... and no good pain meds after! UGH. Not looking forward to that part of the week. No sir. But I am choosing to forget about that and focus instead on seeing my current favorite performer tomorrow night instead.

Ok, enough is enough. I've been working on this post for entirely too long in between actually doing my, ya know, JOB. I need to figure out a way to get paid for blogging. Where are we with that?

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Oh Photoshop, how I've missed you!

Greetings, peeps! How is everyone on this fine pre-Thanksgiving Wednesday? I'm doing well, thanks for asking. I've got the day off and just stuffed myself full of last-night's lasagna left-overs, so I'm full and happy and just a little sleepy. Ok, a lot sleepy. Might have to squeeze in a nap sometime during my busy schedule of doing absolutely nothin' today.

The other day our friends Mark & Laurie were over and Mark noticed the family Christmas wish list that was hanging on our fridge. I'd written my one request: "Photoshop Elements." I have a full (pirated) version of Photoshop on the desktop, you see, but I don't use that computer anymore since I got my laptop about a year ago, and I really missed having access to good photo editing software. Well, Mark saw the list and told me to take that item off my wish list because his company has older versions of Adobe software that he could give me. YAY! So the other day when I was over at Laurie's house Mark presented me with the entire Adobe suite, which would easily retail for over $1,000. SCORE!!!!!!!!!

I've only had a few minutes here and there to play with it (that's what she said!), but so far I'm having fun.




I think you all know what I'll be doing over the next 5 blissful days off from my crap job! Btw, I take requests....

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving! For the first time in over a decade we are not making the 9-10 hour drive to Pennsylvania to spend this holiday with the in-laws. Color me happy! We decided to spend the day here at our home, and I'm cooking the whole shebang. I can't wait, actually. I got an obscenely large turkey and tomorrow morning I'll be doing my darndest to wrestle it into a roasting pan and stuff it full of bready goodness. Let's hope it goes better than the first time I tried to cook a turkey; I couldn't tell which end was which in my bleary 5 AM state, so I found myself trying to cram stuffing into the bird's poop chute for a solid 8-10 minutes before realizing my error. OOPS. Hey, at least I remembered to take out the giblet sack, so cut me some slack, Jack!

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday. I am thankful to know all of you, and thankful that anyone shows up to read my ramblings. Wishing you all a joyous and tipsy holiday!

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Ding dong, you messed with the wrong chick!

Happy Monday, folks! Did you all have a nice weekend? I did! On Saturday I gathered my fellow immature Twilight-loving friends and we saw New Moon. It was great! Of course, before the movie we had dinner and many, many Cosmos, so I'm pretty sure any movie we saw would have been great in that frame of mind, but whatever. I loved it and can't wait to see it again when I can remember it all.

I'll throw up a couple of photos, but that's really not what this post is about, so I'll make it quick:



Oh, and we had so much fun cruising in Laurie's Mini Cooper with the top down (in November - love this warm weather!) that we all felt like teenagers again. Good times....


Okay, moving on. I have to share an inspirational work story on this Monday morning when many of us are working and perhaps subsequently hatin' life. I think it's safe to say that we've all worked with a certifiable bitch before, right? I mean, there are so many bitchy & mean people in the world, you're just bound to run into one at some point in your career. In my case, I work with lots of 'em - both male and female - but you all know that Nasty Bitch Nancy gets under my skin more than most. She's the coffee Nazi who acts like I cut off a body part if I allow the creamer to run low? The one who leaves me passive-aggressive notes about mysterious rodent-related odors? Yeah, her.

Anyway, this post isn't about her, it's about someone my good friend Dorothy* encountered recently.

Dorothy works for a medium-sized company and is pretty high up the chain of command, just under the VP-level. She works hard and keeps her head down, doesn't cause trouble, and is well-liked by everyone and well-respected by her superiors. Recently Dorothy had a run-in with Evilene, a woman who worked in a lateral position and who had a reputation of being difficult and vulgar at work. Evilene had worked there for 12+ years and therefore felt entitled to curse openly and berate people on a daily basis. Several VP's had been told not to deal with Evilene anymore, but to go through Dorothy instead. People feared Evilene's wrath and avoided her, yet her job was safe for some odd reason. It was as if no one could touch her, and with every day her unchecked vindictiveness grew until the very air around her seemed to glow with aggression and rage.

One day last week, Evilene made a mistake at work that directly affected Dorothy. Dorothy, ever the dutiful worker, approached her on a quiet day in the office when many people were out at a meeting. When our friend Dot showed Evilene the email from last August that backed her up and incriminated Evilene, Evilene told her she didn't care about "her fucking email" and then called her a "fucking backstabber." Dorothy, ever the composed and intelligent worker, quietly retreated to the bathroom to wash her face and try to get her blood pressure back down to a normal level.

Later, she sent an email to Evilene's boss and HR, telling them what had happened. When they asked Evilene about it, Evilene denied it ever happened and since the office was nearly-empty and those people who were close to the scene work directly for Evilene, no one came forward to back up poor Dorothy. Several people, however, admitted that Evilene had it out for Dorothy and had been heard loudly calling her vulgar obscenities that very day.

Alas, with no proof and no witnesses, it seemed that Dorothy would just become yet another casualty of Evilene's cruelty.

BUT WAIT, there's more!

The following Monday morning, a day just like this one, Dorothy went to work to find that HR and the boss had decided that Evilene had gone too far at last. Apparently, Dorothy's stellar record of not being a horrible gossiping lying hag was all the proof that they needed; it was the last straw for that camel's back. The company decided that Dorothy was too important to be treated in such a manner, so they did the unthinkable - they fired Evilene! She was gone, gone, gone by the time Dorothy took off her coat on Monday morning! Sometimes nice guys DO finish first!

Throughout the day that day, Dorothy saw several people who had worked under Evilene who looked like they'd been crying. She felt badly that she had essentially caused the termination of someone so beloved; Dorothy is not one to cause turmoil, after all. Yet later that day one of them approached her with something like reverence in her eyes, and Dorothy asked her if she was okay.

Turns out, the munchkins were not weeping tears of sorrow; they were rejoicing because Dorothy had killed The Wicked Witch!



Ding dong, the witch is dead! They immediately started planning a parade in her honor and have assured Dorothy that the ruby slippers are forthcoming. She is a working class hero, and all is well in the Land of Oz once more.



A day later, the brakes on Dorothy's car suddenly went out, but we're sure that was just a coincidence.

So, you see? Good things can happen at work. Sometimes karma gets it right.


* Names changed to protect the livelihood of the innocent.