I had my first Speech Therapy appointment on Wednesday due to my craptastic post-throat surgery voice, and it was an interesting experience. The therapist, Joyce, is a lovely woman with whom I felt instantly comfortable, and we sat in her little office and made strange sounds at one another for over an hour.
Par-tay!
She had me count to ten, say the days of the week, do scales (I can only get up to a weak "Fa"), and basically just try out different things to assess how badly old Lefty the Vocal Cord is stuck, then she taught me some exercises geared at getting him moving again and/or making Righty compensate for his lazy ass. The exercises were odd, and I definitely felt like a fool doing them. Seriously, one of them involves pushing on your chair and making guttural angry animal sounds.
I swear I kept it together right up till the point when we got to "O," because you know how my mind works: I was thinking about how I was showing her my "O Face" and we had just met.
Me: "O," (breathe from diaphragm)
"O," (breathe from diaphragm)
Her: "Good."
Me: "O!" (inhale)
Her: "Excellent!"
Me: "Okay, I'm done. Wanna cuddle and watch TV?"
Awkward.
With a little bit of luck and some hard work I hope to regain an audible, clear speaking voice, so it's worth the embarrassment. Plus, I get to tell people that I have to go work my glottis and relish the look on their faces.
Joyce's office walls have pictures like this everywhere:
Remind you of anything? Yeah, me either. (smirk)
So that's that. Every Wednesday for the next 11 weeks I will sit in a small room and grunt out vowel sounds until people can hear me again. Joyce took a little video of me reading about rainbows (hey, I didn't pick the paragraph) and I look forward to the day when I can marvel at how bad I sounded back then.
I'm having a good voice day, something that has replaced good hair days in my little corner of the world. Joyce taught me that if I turn my head to the right my voice is louder, so I moved my phone at work to my right-hand side and now when it rings I take a deep breath, turn my head, and pray something good comes out. Of course, when I told Mala about this new quirk of mine she reminded me of a chick at our TV station who insisted on running the audio board even though she was deaf in one ear. When you spoke to her she would lift up the hair from the good side, cock her head towards you, and instruct you to speak into her good ear.
Great, now I'm the Deaf Audio girl. Perfect! Come sit on my right side, sugah, I need to tell you something....
Hope you all have a lovely, boisterous weekend in my honor. Shout, shout, let it all out. Do it for me (and Johnny)!
Blog Archive
-
▼
2010
(1508)
-
▼
March
(75)
- Bronzing Powder Pictures
- (You Know It's Never) Wordless Wednesday
- Lumiere Eyeshadow Pictures and images
- Lumiere Eyeshadow Pictures and images
- long nails Pictures
- Shrinkage?!
- Nail Lacquer Pictures ans photoes
- Lipstick pictures and collections
- Excellent First-Impressions Are Kind of My Thing
- Lacoste Collection 2010 Women's Watch
- Carbon Black Eyeliner Pictures and images
- China Glaze and Orly new collections
- Lu Vaze Cosmetics Pictures
- 2010 Burberry Collection Sportswear
- Hollywood Walk of Fame Stars Pictures and name list
- Mac Too Fabulous Collection Swatches and Review
- 2009 Fall Lancome Declaring Indigo Collection
- Chanel Noirs Obscurs Collection
- OOBH Stew
- Celebrities and sunglasses
- TMI Thursday: Why I Don't Drink Gin
- Stradivarius 2010 Model-heeled shoes and boots Babet
- Game Time! Bang, marry, or smack?
- make up styles collection
- make up styles 2010
- beautiful make up styles
- make up styles pictures
- Levi's Spring Summer 2010
- Excellent short bob hairstyle trend for winter 2010
- Wedding Photos - 1940S Wedding Hairstyles
- TV Pimpery
- Gisele Bundchen Vogue USA
- Flash Laser Hair Removal
- Hair Removal Gallery
- Hair Tonic Rebonding
- Hair Tonic Control Pictures
- Nike Shoe 2010 Models
- Variety of traditional dresses by occasion
- Khussa Shoes pics
- Traditional Indian Wedding Dresses
- Wedding Dresses with Beautiful Wedding Gown Design
- Mehndi DesignsPictures
- INDIAN BRIDAL DRESS
- Beautiful Indian Bridal Wear Photo
- G-Star 2010 Man Collection
- TMI Thursday: Karma is a Bitch named Curtiss
- Prada Sunglasses 2010 Models
- (Not at all) Wordless Wednesday
- Don't stop!
- Panties
- I haz bad breff.
- lipstick tube pictures
- lipstick tube collection
- Beautiful lipstick,
- OOBH Stew: It'll stick to your ribs
- Seven is my lucky number
- OOBH Stew: Oscar Edition
- 2010 Trendy hangbags pictures
- Funky Accessory Collection 2009
- Nail Art from Japan
- Funky Nail Art
- Bits and Pieces and Leather pictures
- Top 5 Misconceptions about Diamond Engagement Rings
- Etsy Spotlight----Attendant Jewelry/Gifts
- Urban Lingerie pics
- Asian Eye Make Up pictures
- Eye Make-up pictures and images
- Shouldn't you buy me dinner first?
- TMI Thursday: It's Raining Men
- Pull and Bear Hats
- WTH am I lookin' at?
- Miu Miu Eyewear Products Shoe Bags
- Diesel Skirts
- Etro Fall-Winter 2010
- Electricity, E-lect-ricit-y....
-
▼
March
(75)